GOD’S GRACE, MY GRACE.

This is a blog entry I started ages ago & just found in by 'draft folder'. It wasn't finished so I didn't publish it, but I'm going to publish it unfinished..... cos it's my blog and I can! hahaha

Each week in my children's school they have Chapel. Yesterdays sermon was about God's Grace.

It really got me thinking. Up on the screen were the words Grace = God's gift to us. (or something very close to that). And what a gift!

I see God's Grace through my children, all their colours that make our lives more interesting &; I realise that maybe I needed a constant reminder that God is there. He has given me 3 little miracles to remind me.

Grace had her name before she was born, therefore before her diagnosis & before I knew the true meaning of Gods Grace.

Now I see it everyday through my daughter (& of course Jarod & Ben). She is a constant reminder to me of how God wants us to be. Childlike in our faith...which she will probably always be. Giving  and loving...Grace is a constant source of happiness and can make even the grumpiest of people smile...an awesome gift of love. God is determined and never gives up. My little Grace is also very determined and never gives in to her apparent disability. I guess as far as disability goes, she is more able then disabled. What wonderful qualities she has.

I think that the negative attitudes of some people in regards to disability are more disabled then the "disability" itself.

My little Grace is more God like than I will ever be. She will be closer to measuring up to Gods worthiness without even trying, then I could ever be, even with every ounce of effort that I could possibly muster.

My little daughter Grace is an inspiration.

Her determination puts any I have to shame. Her happiness is contagious and she can find happiness in almost everything. She doesn't hold a grudge, she forgives easier than she angers and has an attitude to life that I can only think to describe as awesome.

I have done some things in my life that I am ashamed of. By God's grace, I am forgiven.

The phrase, "blessing in disguise" comes to mind.

When my daughter Grace was born with Down Syndrome, some may have felt sorry for us. Some may think I was being punished. But that couldn't be further from the truth.

I sometimes get the feeling that God wants me to forgive myself and sent me His Grace in the form of my daughter.

I see her as a gift from God. An amazing gift that I often don't feel worthy of having in my life. I'm not being negative, about myself, I am now on a voyage of self discovery as I go through each day. And Grace is a constant reminder that I CAN do it, because God sent her to me, because He knows I can do it.

So, because of God's grace, I am starting to have more self belief. More self esteem and the realisation that I do have some good qualities. Coming from a person who used to self loathe...this is a big step forward. It's not hard to fall back into old bad habits, but I have a constant reminder with me as I go about each day, that God loves me and Grace is a gift from God.

Some people may accept Gods grace in a more simple way, but I think God knew I needed it 'IN MY FACE' all day everyday. So He sent my children to me and to the world. 3 little faces in a world of uncertainty. 3 little faces who are changing the world one by one.

Jarod and Ben also have these wonderful gifts of beautiful attitudes and there are so many things to be learnt from a child with Tourettes Syndrome, ADHD and OCD. A child who can still function with his head stuffed full of "other stuff" that is almost torturous. I may get up and complain about the odd headache or the odd little pain, but really, what is that compared to what my children go through before they have even got out of bed!? Ben is sitting on my lap. It's almost 5am. We've been up since 3:15am. Interesting. He's trying to play a game and has to stop to tic every few seconds, but he still manages to enjoy his game. Amazing.